Tuesday, 21 January 2014

House of Cards: - Yugioh/House xover

Sometimes I worry about what I write when bored...

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“I’ve got a case that might interest you.” Dr Lisa Cuddy, the Dean of Medicine and the hospital administrator of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, told her most awkward and irritating practitioner of medicine, passing him a case file as he headed out of his office door. “Asian teenager, sixteen years old, came in by ambulance an hour ago.”

“So?” The Doctor she was talking to didn’t seem amused as he leant on his cane and flicked through the file. “Coma? Why would that interest me?”

“No trauma, no drugs, he just collapsed after playing a card game and didn’t get back up.”

“Family history?”

“Father’s a drunkard with a shot liver, but the rest of his family’s clear, the mother’s side have a clean bill of health too. The little sister nearly went blind around two years ago, the kid’s adopted brother won the prize money that paid for the operation to save her sight.”

“And the brother?”

“World famous.” Cuddy warned. “The King of Games.”

“Medical history.” The Doctor rolled his eyes, “Not life story.”

“Brother looks malnourished and is certainly smaller then is normal for his age.” Cuddy replied without missing a beat, well versed in the Doctor’s ways, “Other then that, he has a completely clean medical history. No recent illnesses other then a cold.”

“And the patient slipped into a coma for no apparent reason?”

“None at all.”

“Insurance?”

“The medical bills are being footed by Kaiba Corp.”

“Who?”

“The second largest games company in the world,” Cuddy glared at him, “Don’t screw this one up, House, the CEO of the company used to hire hit men. I do not want to have to replace the carpet because you irritated the wrong person.”

Gregory House snorted, “Then you picked the wrong Doctor.” He said, going to hand back the file. “I enjoy irritating my patients. Haven’t you heard? It’s a hobby.”

“Just take the case.”

“Why?”

“Because I told Kaiba Corp that I’d get my best Doctor on it.”

House waited.

“And I’ll let you off four hours of clinic duty this week.”

“Let’s go see Sleeping Beauty.” House replied, shutting the file and staggering off down the corridor, carefully.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and sighed. There’d be complaints by the end of the day, she could guarantee it.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

“You can’t be serious.” Dr Robert Chase, a specialist in Intensive Care and Cardiology, was protesting, “You’re telling me a child can win more then we make in a year, just by playing a card game?”

“It’s not just a card game to those who play it.” Dr Allison Cameron, the team’s specialist in Immunology and Internal Medicine, protested, “And it’s not only kids who play.”

“I’m not surprised with that sort of money on the table.” Dr Eric Foreman, the Neurology specialist, snorted, as he waited for the coffee maker to finish.

“I played for a while.” Cameron said indignantly, “For fun, not for money.”

“Doesn’t mean that there aren’t some adults out there who wouldn’t like an easy way to get two million dollars.” Foreman pointed out, as Dr House, the team’s leader, the Head of the Department of Diagnostic Medicine and a specialist in Infectious Diseases and Nephrology, walked in, leaning heavily on his cane, came over to the coffee maker, took Foreman’s coffee, wrote Sleeping Beauty along the top of the white board that took up quite a sizeable part of the room, and settled at the table with the cup.

“I just can’t believe that the World Champion is sixteen years old.” Chase grumbled.

“I bet he has more then the one million dollar prize on his mind at the moment.” House said, tossing the marker to Foreman, “His adopted brother’s in a coma.” There was silence for a moment, “Differential diagnosis people, sixteen year old Asian male, 62 kg, roughly five foot ten, fell into a coma for no good reason about an hour and a half ago.”

“Drugs?” Chase offered quickly.

“Kid doesn’t touch them apparently.” House answered just as fast.

“And you believe him?” Chase sounded surprised.

“Patient’s not saying much.”

“You believe whoever you spoke to?” Foreman looked sceptical.

“No, but I’m giving you what I know.”

“We should run a toxscreen.” Chase decided.

“Because it’s impossible for there to be a sixteen year old male who doesn’t take drugs?” Cameron demanded, “There could be any number of reasons he’s in a coma.”

“Drugs are the most likely cause…”

House watched the two banter as Foreman wrote down the one symptom they had and then wrote down possible causes underneath.

“Trauma.” Foreman spoke over Cameron and Chase’s discussion, interrupting them and causing them to look at him, “Head injuries might explain…”

“The only kind of fighting he’s been doing recently is with a Duel Disk.” House disagreed.

“It doesn’t necessarily have to be obvious, or even that recent.” Foreman pointed out, “If there was an older injury that was left untreated, the effects from that could be causing the coma now.”

“Virus or bacteria?” Cameron offered, thinking.

“Patient wasn’t sick, right up until the time he collapsed.”

“So it’s not drugs, he wasn’t in a fight and it could be some obscure virus that has no symptoms at all except a coma?” Chase sounded justifiably irritated.

“Chase, run a toxscreen, I bet you twenty that it comes up negative for drugs. Cameron, MRI, if it’s something in his brain, I want to see it. Foreman, talk to the children he came in with. See if they can think of any symptoms he was showing.”

“Why can’t I talk to the kids?” Cameron demanded.

“Because one of them is small enough for you to take home and you get attached far too easily.”

They waited for a moment.

“What are you waiting for? Marching orders?” House demanded, “Fine, hup two three four…”


Cameron, Chase and Foreman left.

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