Ennead Chapter 23 Unused Opening

“I don’t understand why I’m always getting attacked.” Yugi complained as she leant on Honda and hobbled home to the shop after her friends had rescued her from an attempted mugging on the way home from school. “I mean I’m glad it’s me and not you lot, but I always seem to attract the thieves and bullies and then you guys have to come and get me.”

“Face it Yuge,” Jou grinned at her. In hindsight he had quite enjoyed the fight. Once he had been sure Yugi was okay it had been quite therapeutic to punch the guy in the face. “Every so often life demands that you fill your ‘damsel in distress’ quota.”

“What...?” Yugi was confused, still trying to work out how her friends had managed to react before Oneesan could considering that they had not been with her when the mugger had jumped her.

“Your life is basically a shonen anime.” Jou pointed out, “Or it’s playing out like one. And you’re a girl. You might be the lead character, but you’re still a girl. This means every so often, you have to fill your damsel in distress quota.”

“My life isn’t a...”

“Yuge, think about every game based anime we watch.” Jou sniggered, “Your life’s basically on par with some of them. Except for one thing.”

“Oh?” Curiosity piqued her.

“None of them have a female lead. If your life was an anime, you’d be a dude.”

“Jou!” Anzu protested.

“No, no, he has a point.” Yugi allowed, thinking, “I don’t think any of the shows we watch have a female protagonist so they’d probably make me a guy.” She paused, considering it for a moment longer, “Unless they made it as a magical girl anime.”

“Okay, I know you like ‘Starlight Breaker’ Yuge, but if your life was like it, Oneesan would be a morality pet.” Jou pointed out, “And you’d be like, eleven. And a human gundam.”

“Love the order of importance there.” Honda grinned at him.

“It could be worse.” Anzu pointed out, “It could be a love anime where every guy we know is a romance option. And I mean every guy.”

“Eww.” Yugi grimaced, sticking her tongue out, “Eww. Eww. Eww. I am NOT dating any of our teachers.”

“Well the mecha genre’s right out, unless you’re hiding a giant robot somewhere that we don’t know about.” Jou pointed out, “And you suck at sports, so there’s no way they’d pick that.”

“If they were making an anime of my life it would have to be a game based one. I don’t do anything else interesting.” Yugi pointed out, “So either I’d end up being a guy, or the fact people used to think I was a guy would remain a huge plot point.”

“And you’d get to spend the entire first season hiding your gender.” Jou sniggered.

“Yes but who would be the love interest?” Anzu asked with a smirk as Yugi blushed bright red.

“Oh so you do notice guys.” Jou grinned at the embarrassed girl, “Go on. Share. We can’t plan out your future anime without knowing what you go for.”

“You just want to tease her rotten.” Honda shoved him hard enough to make him stagger.

“You do realise this could be considered girl talk, right?” Anzu asked the pair.

“Nah, we just need to know who we’ll be beating up in the future if they hurt Yuge, that’s all.” Jou tried to put a manly spin on it.

“I’d like to point out Oneesan would get there first. There wouldn’t be enough of him left for us to beat up.” Honda pointed out.

“It’s doesn’t matter anyway ‘cause I’m not going to be dating any time soon.” Yugi shrugged, “Now can we please get back to a saner subject?”

“Why not?” Jou couldn’t help but ask curiously, something in him twisting at her words but he didn’t understand what.

“Because dating would be weird if I have Oneesan sharing headspace with me.” Yugi replied, “I mean whoever I date would have to get used to two Yugis. And it’s not fair to drag her on dates with some guy she’s not interested in.”

“And it’s not like Oneesan could wander around if you left the Puzzle at home either.” Jou frowned, understanding.

“Exactly.” Yugi nodded, not mentioning the fact that she didn’t think any guy would be interested in her, considering they had much taller and more developed girls to chase. That and Hirutani had put her off of guys for a long while, “I couldn’t leave her stuck in the Puzzle. It’d be cruel. So again, saner subjects? Please?”

“Okay okay.” Jou backed off, finally noticing that Yugi was rather uncomfortable with the topic at hand. “They wouldn’t introduce your love interest till next season anyway.”

“Wha...?”

“Well we have to be done with season one by now,” Jou grinned at her, “Kaiba and his crazy amusement park would have been the end of season boss. So we have to wait for season two to find out who the love interest is.”

“Would they really end the season before we met the real big bad?” Honda couldn’t help but ask, “I mean we haven’t seen hide or hair of the Thief King and he’s supposed to be Oneesan’s true enemy.”

“And I hope I don’t run into him until seasons four or five.” Yugi frowned, “Or at least he has the decency to wait until Oneesan and I can have a conversation.” She could sense Oneesan’s agreement at that and smiled slightly.

“Next season, Yuge, next season.” Jou ruffled her hair.

“I’m sorry guys, but I have had enough of the anime talk.” Anzu butted in, “Can we please go back to something sane? Like the homework we’re supposed to be doing?”